Abuse

We read quite often in the newspapers and hear it on the news about people who have been abused as a child.  This can be from strangers, family members, or friends of the family.

I had a girlfriend whose uncle had made sexual advances when she was a young teenager.  She had been in bed asleep and had woken up with him on top of her.  And yes, she was traumatised, and yes, no one, but me, believed her. 

Unfortunately, some people are brought up with troubled parents, guardians or teachers and learn hate and fear instead of love. But, because it is all around them, they accept those lessons as being normal and, in many cases, end up with similar traits. This is sad because these people’s lives are a mess.  They see another world where people are happy and enjoying life, and can’t make sense of the difference. 

Many of those people don’t even know what they are searching for.  Anger and hate of the world and those around them makes them feel better.  During their childhood they were exposed to fear and hate, so feel a sense of success and happiness when they can imitate that kind of behaviour.  The interesting thing is when someone shows them kindness, they are unsure of what to do.  It is unfamiliar to them and they often push it away. 

People who have grown up and taken in wrong attitudes, behaviour and fear, need therapy.  They need to understand that the people who took care of them when they were small have led them astray.  They also need to discover, that not all the world is like that.  The reason why ‘young people with problems’ hate the world and the people around them, is often jealousy: hitting out at the happy people around them to cause pain; hopefully, so those happy people can suffer like themselves. It also gives them a sense of power which assists in helping them to feel better about themselves.

Unfortunately, many people who need this assistance, end up in prison, and until prison systems change and help to re-educate inmates, these sufferers will perpetuate their lives, living in constant fear, hatred and jealousy.

We should feel sorry for these mixed-up people, but generally we get annoyed and applaud their imprisonment.  People say they shouldn’t be part of society, and while they have the desire to show their hatred, prison could be the place for them.  But why are we just accepting them as bad people and not trying to change them?

Drug addicts have usually found when in a drugged trance the pain they feel is relieved.  No wonder they do it again and again.  Yes, it does become an addiction, but if you found something that removed your emotional pain, even only for a short while, wouldn’t you keep using it?  We condemn these people but maybe we should try more to help them.

Personally, I don’t know how best to help, but we should encourage governments and councils to provide more for these people.  In Norway its prison system is to allow people to be treated like adults.  Only loss of liberty is the punishment.  Cells are set up with television, computers, sanitation and showers.  When there is five years left of the prisoner’s sentence, they can apply to be transferred to Bostoy Island Prison which is still isolated, but prisoners live together in houses of six people, where they have their own room, share a kitchen and receive an allowance to purchase food for their breakfasts and other food.  One meal per day is provided by the Government.  These prisoners are also encouraged to retrain for employment.  Now doesn’t that sound like a better way to treat people with problems, who have committed crimes?  And, just so one can see the success of this system the reconviction rates in Norway are very low.  Also, the numbers of fights, murders and suicides in the prisons are minimal in comparison to other western style prisons.

Providing computers, TVs, sanitation and being treated like adults means those inmates are still involved with society outside the prison walls.  They know what is going on in the world, and with the computers they can contact relatives as well as learn new skills.  This surely must save the government money in the end, as it costs millions to keep people in prison.

Abused people need a chance.  If they can change their lives around, it makes for a better society and world.  Maybe it is time for us to get our governments to change the way we run our prisons.  Why not send your local member or someone you know this blog, so they can discover there are other ways of treating prisoners.

Julie Finch-Scally ©