There is a saying if you can count more friends than the number of fingers on one hand you are very fortunate. Most people feel fortunate to have two or three.
During one’s life we meet many people, we will make lots of acquaintances but very few friends. This would be because a friend is someone who is close to you, someone who knows you and even if you don’t see or talk to each other for months or even years, when you do get together there is no embarrassment, you talk to each other as if it was only yesterday when you last met. They know all about you and you about them.
Friendships are great. They make one feel warm. Knowing that person is there for you no matter what happens, is the security blanket of your life. You can rely on them when things go wrong.
When you get older you will remember the people you met at school. You wonder what happened to them. Some you would have been close with at the time, but as you got older, married or moved, you drifted away, never to meet or see that person again. School reunions are helpful with this. You get to meet those people again and find out what happened to them. They probably observe you in the same way. But the friendships made at school in most cases don’t last.
One of my girlfriends still has a longstanding friend, They, went to pre-school together and have remained friends ever since. I had a work mate who had a couple of friends he met in High School. they are still friends, and their families meet often and spend time together. These long-lasting friendships mean a lot and help make the bad times in one’s life bearable.
Friendships cannot be one sided. They will only last if you work on them. When young you celebrate birthdays, especially the important ones like 18 and 21 years. But as people get older, they get overtaken with work, and this is when friendships can break apart. Remembering those birthdays are important, even if it is only a message saying ‘Happy Birthday’. It shows you have remembered them. Likewise, you will be just as delighted if they remember your special day. Keeping in touch will keep a friendship alive.
Of course, not all friendships last. People change as they get older and you can find there isn’t the closeness that was once the glue holding your friendship together. If this happens, and you try to make it work, don’t be upset when you drift apart.
You can meet and make friends in the strangest places. The same as people meet their partners in unusual settings. The point here is that as soon as you start chatting you discover there are an amazing number of things you can talk about. This discussion can be a chance meeting that will never go anywhere, or can end up becoming a close friendship that will last for the rest of your life. The important thing is, this is the time to exchange contact details. If not, then the likelihood of meeting this person again is remote. So, while things are going well, take the time to find out more about the person and how you can keep in touch.
This doesn’t mean it will naturally blossom into a strong friendship. It might fade away over time, but if you can develop it and keep it active, you will have another friend to exchange ideas and enjoyment.
Making friends is not easy, and if you are the quiet type that finds it difficult to get on with people, you might need to pluck up courage and join organisations where you can meet many people from all walks of life. Learn to do ballroom dancing, or join a choir. You could even become a volunteer where you meet different people. Whatever you choose, look at it as a way for you to gain confidence, get to know more people and who knows, find yourself more friends.
Remember ‘Friendships are the security blanket of life’. We all need security so become positive and contact that friend you haven’t seen for years, and meant to call. They might be thinking the same thing about you. Great minds think alike.
Julie Finch-Scally ©
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