Sex

I’ve have been thinking about whether I should write about sex for several weeks, and decided that because men and women think about the act in different ways it was necessary.  Many men, and more so lately young men, believe what they view on Porn Movies is real, and because they personally enjoy it women do also. Nothing could be further from the truth as far as women are concerned.  For many women sex is a duty.  Men have needs so we help them to satisfy it.

This doesn’t mean women don’t enjoy sex, it means other things are more important than sex.  According to many males it is permanently on their minds, especially when they are young teenagers and the hormones are raging through their bodies. The penis is an important item to the male.  They believe bigger is better, and as often as they are told by women it doesn’t matter about the size, males with larger penises are admired by other men with a regular size.  I hate to tell you gentlemen but a smaller penis is more comfortable, and when aroused the larger penis is about the same size as the smaller penis anyway.

Some social mores of many countries think the marriage of a very young girl who has just blossomed (started to ovulate) is better because any children born must belong to the husband and not another male.  And when the line of wealth and inheritance follows through the male, this is important. Why?  Because until DNA testing was introduced you always knew who was your mother, but not necessarily your father. 

But let’s get back to enjoyment.  I have met women in their 50s and 60s who have never had an orgasm.  In fact, I didn’t until I was nearly 30.  Why would this be?  Because many men are more interested in their own pleasure than the pleasure of the woman.  And as most religions and social behaviours are against sex before marriage (which they have never been able to completely control) a lot of young girls get married and have no idea what to expect. 

I had a girl friend who had not had sex with her fiancée before marriage and had such a bad experience on the night they were married; she avoided going to bed at the same time as her husband.  Yes, she finally did have a couple of children, but that was a few years later.  Maybe she tolerated the pain, maybe she had learned to enjoy the experience, I never found out, but I was shocked when she told me about her first night.  It would seem no one had spoken to the young man about how he should behave and treat his wife.

The relationship between male and female or third gender people, is generally based on love and not of desire of each other’s body.  Of course that is important, but it is not the basis of a marriage or partnership.  The desire for sex when one is younger is wanted more often, but as the couple gets older that desire isn’t as crucial.

I’m not saying it is easy for the males.  Religions over the years, have tried to control women’s clothing in order to cover up parts that are supposed to excite men.  But we all know what that has achieved.  The gentlemen of this world have to learn to control their desires.  And in some instances, the ladies of this world, should not be so brazen with what they wear.  Teasing a man to get him excited can be fun, but not when it is people you don’t know.  As a teenager both male and female have more sexual desire, but if either sex pushes their expectations, it can lead to dangerous results. 

There is another problem with young girls and what they wear.  They are more inclined to believe that what they are wearing shows them as being experienced and an adult.  In most cases this is not true.  These young girls are trying to see how far they have to go to get a boyfriend.  Having a boyfriend gives them more status with their girlfriends.

Boys brag about their successes with girls, and often what they are reporting didn’t happen.  But girls are just as keen to show off to their girlfriends about what they do with their boyfriend.  Unfortunately, because of the age at which this happens, those youngsters listening to the story want to believe it to be true, and let themselves get caught up in a sinister situation, which can lead to unhappy events.

It is wise to remember that sex hasn’t only been given to humans to reproduce the genes in the next generation, it helps couples to develop a closeness between each other, that is stronger than a friendship.  It happens when each other respect the other’s body and wants the best for the other person. 

Sex is with us to keep romance alive.  Let’s keep it that way.

Julie Finch-Scally ©