When I started my cleaning business The Duster Dollies in the 1990s, I regularly had to clean the new large houses that were being built then. Because of TV a Family Room was introduced to these new builds, everyone each night sat in the Family Room watching the TV and eating their dinner which sat on their laps.
The Dining Room, which was quite large with a table for 6 to 8 people was a separate room. Every time I cleaned them, I was surprised at how cold the room felt. Because it was only used for dinner parties and Christmas there was no atmosphere. But the Family Room, was always warm and busy.
When I was a child, we sat at the dining table at dinner time and held interesting conversations. My father and brother discussed the problems with my brother’s car. I discussed school happenings with my mother and sometimes with Dad, and everyone in the family knew what was going on in each other’s life.
Once people started to eat their dinner in the family room watching the TV, those discussions seem to disappear. Was it the family room, or was it TV? It might have been a bit of both. Whichever it was, the family discussions over dinner, stopped. I guess children told their parents what happened each day at school when they arrived home, or when they were being driven to one of their after-school activities. But, as more parents worked and children stayed longer at school, and now spend more time in their rooms on their phone or computer, these family discussions are no longer part of their growing up. The Dining Room had lost its appeal.
Now this blog is about Housing, so why am I talking about Dining Rooms? Good question. My concern is the size of the homes we are building. When I lived in England, my family lived in a two up two down house. There were two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs, and a lounge, dining come sitting room and kitchen downstairs. The lounge was used only on Sundays and Christmas (somewhat like those dining rooms) and the dining table was part of a sitting room. When it was cold, although we had fireplaces in each room, only the fire in the dining/sitting room and kitchen were used.
Now I will confess that maybe two bedrooms was not quite enough, especially when my grandfather moved in. He shared a bedroom with my brother and I who slept in bunk beds, and Mum and Dad slept in the other room. Grandad found us young children a bit much so he moved out. And as my brother became a teenager, he moved into the front bedroom, and Mum and Dad moved in with me.
I hope from this explanation you can see that two bedrooms can be a bit cramped, but some of these new homes being built today are massive. There are at least four bedrooms, sometimes five. I also hear there are quite often games and media rooms, along with the extra ensuites for each bedroom. So, what once served as a family home where everyone shared, bathrooms, living rooms, and in many cases bedrooms, has now become a mansion. People live in separate areas and once the children become teenagers, communication seems non-existent. Everyone goes into their own bedroom, with their own TV and social media on their phone.
When I purchased my first home, with my husband, we bought a small 2-bedroom apartment. It was enough for us at the time. It was only when we started a family that we upgraded to a bigger home. And because we already had a property, we were able to sell the apartment, which gave us a better deposit for the house we purchased. Once we were in the property market, by purchasing our first home, we were able to move up the ladder with each property we then bought.
With our first home our expectations were minimal. We needed the basics and were delighted with the purchase. We enjoyed redecorating the place and making it our home. We both worked and led busy lives so we didn’t need a large apartment. It also made it easier on keeping the property clean. A quick dust and vacuum and a clean of the bathroom and kitchen took less than an hour, so that to me was perfect.
The following properties took longer to clean, and when we had a backyard, hubby had to mow the lawn. By then we had animals and children so we needed the space, and adjusted accordingly. And of course, as the children grew, they were able to assist with some of the housework and gardening. We all pulled our weight and kept the places tidy and clean. Larger family, bigger house.
Because hubby and I were able to purchase a small apartment when we decided that we wanted our own property, I find it quite interesting that the younger members of society now adays, want to start by purchasing a large place. The only reason I can think of is that they grew up in a largish home which had been in the family for many years. They thought Mum and Dad had purchased that home as their first property. That of course might have been the case, but most children when they start buying their first property don’t need such a big building and also, find it too expensive. The bank of Mum and Dad, didn’t exist when hubby and I purchased our first property. And, a little help would have been nice, but isn’t it better to have done it all by one’s self?
Maybe we have mixed up our needs and wants. What we need is a place to sleep, eat and relax in. Not a massive home which takes hours to clean, and hide from our partner. Buying a home whether it be an apartment, town house or a house with a back garden, is a big outlay of money. On top of that two people do not need four or five bedrooms. So may be the bank of Mum and Dad, should only be needed to prop up that last bit of deposit for a small property where two people can enjoy coming home to each night and feel comfortable in their surroundings.
I and many other friends did exactly that when we purchased our first property. Let’s all encourage everyone to start small and work their way up the ladder.
Julie Finch-Scally ©
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