When a parent looks back on how quickly their sons or daughters grows up, they realise how much they miss those quaint little ways. But that is part of being a parent. Children have to grow up. A parent wouldn’t want it any other way.
For the child it is all about learning. Every child learns from the actions and behaviour of their parents, which makes the parents responsible for how their children behave. But childhood as such didn’t exist until Queen Victoria was on the throne, in the mid to late 1800s. That is when people started to realise children shouldn’t be put to work when they became a seven-year-old. Now of course some young adults can still be treated like children which doesn’t allow them to think for themselves. When this happens, they basically expect everyone else to do their thinking and solving their problems. They can have a good time, and everything will be taken care of by their parents. Okay when they are very young, but not so good when they become an adult.
I have always believed that by the time a child turns fourteen they should be able to look after themselves and be responsible for their own actions. My daughter at that age could wash her own clothes, cook for herself and hold a convincing conversation in adult society.
Being different, because one is a teenager, only started after the Second World War. Prior to that many children left school at fourteen and started work. Sorry, fourteen and ten months here in Australia when I was 14. Many of the girls I went to school with were anxious for that day to arrive so they could finally leave school.
My Mother always said that a child doesn’t know about risk and results of their actions until after their twenty-first birthday. I guess that is why twenty-one was the original important birthday in our lives. That was when children were considered to be adults. Now we are considered adults at eighteen, but it was twenty-one before I reached that status.
It all changed when people started to complain it was all right for an eighteen-year-old to go to war and fight, so why were they not allowed to vote. The Law was changed in Australia in 1973, but many other countries were adopting the same thing around the same time. Is eighteen a good idea? Recently there has been talk in some countries of reducing that age to sixteen. Would most sixteen-year-olds of today be aware of what their vote meant?
This of course brings up the argument of eighteen-year-olds fighting. Although accepted by the United Nations, there is still some argument that eighteen is too young to fight. Especially considering the loss of young men’s lives during the First and the Second World Wars. After the Second World War boys, when they turned eighteen or finished their schooling were conscripted and had to serve in the army for a year. Some chose to stay in the Forces as a career, but most just did their Military Service and then went off and found a job. There are still many countries in the world that have conscription, only now, both male and female are required to take part in a year of Service.
The interesting thing is, if one talks to any of those boys when they reach forty, about their military service, they will tell you it was the best thing that happened to them. They didn’t think so when they were taking part in the project, but as they grew up, they realised what they had learned during that year actually helped them to be a more enlightened person as an adult, and gave them discipline. Being an Adult at eighteen or even sixteen means one is considered to be a responsible person. Would some of our parents find that difficult to accept?
Being a child is not easy. And as the world is becoming more involved with electronics everyone is relying on what they read on social media, where they can be easily swayed to believe things, they should never be subjected to. Unfortunately, when many of the social media platforms started it was for a good reason. But later others could see how money could be made from the invention and not how it might become addictive and have a bad impact on people. Countries, as I write are starting to put laws into place to protect children, especially young teenagers, but much damage has been done to many children already. Bullying and teasing by so called friends on social media has become widespread and too many teenagers are taking their own lives.
When I was small, that is around seven, I was taught resilience. I had to get myself on a bus and train twice a week to attend my dance classes, and when I turned eleven my Mum took me up to drama school in Soho, London. The next week I had to get there and back on my own. I can remember being a little scared the first day, but once I had remembered which train to catch and from which platform of the Underground, my train left, it was a breeze. Thankfully my Mum had shown me all that. I wonder how many eleven-year-olds today, would be able or allowed to travel on their own like I did?
This lack of resilience I see as the problem. There was a case several years ago in Canada where a parent was advised by a child safety officer that his children were too young to be travelling on their own to school. The father had taught his children how to catch the city bus which dropped them outside the school. According to the child safety officer, children between 7 and 11 were too young to travel on a bus on their own. Personally, I would consider the father was doing the right thing. The children were being taught to look after themselves.
Is our society being too protective of our children? Several of my friends in High School were latch key kids. This started while they were attending Primary School (6-12 years old). Mum was still at work when they got home, so they had to let themselves into the house and help out prior to Mum arriving. Latch key kids were looked down on. It was considered very bad in those days. But my friends turned out OK, and they became self-assured and resilient.
I am sure if a parent started to treat their child like an adult, when they reached fourteen, there would be a change to the way teenagers see the world. Maybe then at sixteen they would be ready to vote. It is up to us Adults as to how the children turn out. If we encourage them to do things themselves, then they learn at an early age to take care of themselves. Children at fourteen can cope. Maybe we should let them.
Thank you again for reading my blog A World at War with Itself. I am Julie Finch-Scally. Next week we will still be on the theme of families but our subject will be about Death. Please join me then.
Julie Finch-Scally ©
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