There might be books to tell you how to handle certain areas when bringing up a child, but as each child is different, what works for one might not work with another. I’ve raised two daughters, one we fostered, but my husband’s and my way of bringing up a daughter would probably be so different from how children are being raised today. I cringe when children throw tantrums in the supermarket. There is no way my daughter would have tried that.
The things I was taught as a child was respect, responsibility, independence and love. I see the duty of all parents is to teach their child to be a responsible and a reliable citizen of the world? That way they are prepared for what life will present them and be able to cope. Most parents do achieve this, and they certainly did when I was young.
When I joined the Girl Guides as a child, my mother said, if you join you will have to take part in whatever the group does, and not just leave. She made me realise I had a responsibility to the Guides to be part of the team. The Group had to know they could rely on me turning up each week and helping. I learned a lot from my five years of being part of the Girl Guides and that assisted me later in life. But my Mum talking to me before I became a Guide had a powerful effect. I like to think I was a good Girl Guide.
Children love to belong to groups; be involved. But being involved means taking part. Most schools now a days have accepted children should learn a musical instrument. This is not something that was encouraged when I went to school. We could join the choir if we wanted, and I took music as a subject, but that didn’t include learning an instrument.
Making sure your child learns the importance of being there when needed and assisting the best they can, teaches them to fit in with others, learn communication and team work. All things that in their adult life will be a benefit.
Lately I have noticed how many parents take over the jobs their children could easily learn. One of my girlfriends from the time her children could walk were told to grab a cloth and wipe up any spills they had made. I was most impressed when I saw this. It was an excellent way of making them responsible for what they’d done. It taught them to be careful and how to clean up when something is spilt. Her children learned three things by the one action.
Worrying about your child being hurt physically or emotionally will not help them grow up and learn that things don’t always go the way we would like. Saying ‘No’ when a child whinges and whines about something they want, doesn’t hurt them to discover that they can’t have everything they want, especially when you give them a reason. Also, they won’t whinge and whine so much once they have learned that lesson.
If you look back over your life, I am sure you can pick out all those moments when you learned something. I learned as a child from what I experienced. The younger a child is when they learn something gives them strength. Some of the most brilliant people who have lived never went to university, but learned a lot from their experiences and were sought after for their knowledge.
All children have to learn. They will learn a lot from education, but experiences are remembered more. We all know about the child being told not to touch something because it is hot. They will still touch it, because they have to discover what hot means. They find out very quickly and it becomes an important learning experience.
Not all experiences are pleasant, and some children are subjected to bad things. Unfortunately, children cannot be kept hidden. And parents as much as it hurts them cannot always be there when bad things occur. That is why we teach them right from wrong. That is why children have to learn to take care of themselves.
It is not easy raising children. We all make mistakes and say things to children we shouldn’t but Love overcomes everything, and being there for them as they grow up and move through life is the answer. We can all do that as a parent.
Please join me again next week, when I continue the theme of Families as part of the World at War with Itself, blog.
Julie Finch-Scally ©
Add comment
Comments